Grief & Bereavement Relief

I will never forget the very first family I visited after qualifying as a Celebrant, a family distraught at the passing of a loved one, who, surrounded by flowers and sympathy cards, had set a side table with a tea pot, cups and biscuits, arranged a table and the ‘best chair’ for me and sat, straight backed and at a loss as to how to move forward minute by minute in their grief, looking with expectation at me, for guidance, for help and above all for that person to say, I’ve got this, you grieve and I’ll be here, by your side.
 

My heart went out to them immediately and I sat with them for hours, carefully gaining their trust and coaxing out their wishes for the funeral and allowing the space and silence, the tears and indeed the fond memories of their loved one to surface and seeing in every moment that passed, the family
were relaxing, this stranger in their home who was witnessing their agony was actually a friend they hadn’t met until that morning and would be with them every step of the way to the funeral.
 

Leaving them I felt immediately that beyond the funeral was also a time of such need in grief, friends and wider family resort back to their regular life and it is still very much expected that those closest to the person who has passed will resume ‘normality’ in a week or two.
 

Indeed, it can become awkward if someone is deemed to be grieving ‘too long’ and often well-meaning people can offer platitudes which are more damaging than helpful. “Get back to routine” “Time will heal” “keep busy” and other such throw away comments which can and are so hurtful to those in grief and delay the relief from grief so much I wanted to be able to help beyond my Celebrant role, I was drawn to the human need for a non judgemental, safe ‘someone’ who can offer a way of providing hope following loss.

 

…and so I began working providing Grief Relief cafes within the (very nice, bright and modern) premises of a Funeral Director for who I often worked and still do. These were just an allocated time during which anyone was welcome, whether they had used this particular Funeral Director or not to drop in, sit a while and enjoy some cake and a cuppa, informal and quite lovely, but it was more like a coffee morning than a session to actually give some ‘help’ to those struggling to take away with them, something to turn to in the early hours or at times when grief threatened to over whelm.
 

Please don’t misunderstand me, they were certainly a lovely way of finding human connection with peers, lifting spirits due to having some likeminded company and a warm space both emotionally and practically, but there was also the feeling that chat remained ‘light’, little or no mention of the grief or
loss and I wondered if these people needed more. I was right, they did and were craving it.

 

Today I run Grief Relief Hubs across Ynys Môn (Anglesey), a place I now call home, it has become a regular and beautiful work pattern for me and compliments my Celebrancy perfectly, I can signpost people I have had the honour of helping to say goodbye to a loved one to the hubs and they already have that connection with myself when they walk through the door that first time, equally many who attend I have never met before as they take that initial and incredibly brave step of joining us, but I do know that within moments they feel welcomed, held, heard.

 

I have welcomed service users who have suffered loss several years ago but have not been able to find the relief needed in order to find fulfilment in their lives, I have welcomed people who have lost and not yet gone past the funeral, people who have lost spouses, children, grandchildren, sisters, parents and friends, animals, male, female and young adults and they have stayed, people who are grieving someone still alive and all of them joining me each session they are able, making new friends and finding support with peers, working and practicing strategies together and taking them away to continue in their own homes as they find relief from their grief.
 

I will always welcome a conversation about setting up a Grief Relief Café across my home area and also offer 1-2-1 session. I am hoping to do much more work with young children and potentially in Care Homes using my Ten Pathways Journey. 

 

But, I choose not to be a Counsellor despite training resulting in this title, I prefer to be known as a Grief Support Practitioner, sustainable, accessible and affordable with no waiting lists. I will always signpost anyone who wishes to more formal counselling opportunities though the organisations such as Marie Curie, Cruise, WAY, Sue Ryder, MIND, etc whilst continuing to keep open access to the grief relief hubs at all times for anyone in need.
 

I also run Walk and Talk Sessions for those in grief, across the Island. A beautiful social opportunity to get out into nature, to speak without pressure
and to connect in a different way with peers (and dogs, lots of dogs, who are most welcome!)

 

 

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I am very proud to have developed the '(Living Life after Loss) Ten Pathway Journey to Grief Relief' and to be rolling out a (soon to be accredited) training programme for Celebrants, Funeral Industry Operatives, and Community Workers etc in 2026.